Sunday, December 15, 2013

Wrapping more than presents.....

Wrapping my mind around.....

Common phrase, common concept.  Once you enter Cancer World your mind expands into horrible dimensions, along with your waist line.  In the same time, your wallet shrinks and your friends scatter and your life becomes warped.  You somehow disconnect from the world in a way that is hard to comprehend.  You try to keep hold but at some point you wake up and find the world different, so different than when it started. 

While in the middle of the battle, it is hard to reflect on the whys and hows and whens.  It is just about now.  Then one day you realize it has been months since the last hospitalization or the last cringe when someone sneezes.  Things start to work again.  You one day leave the "hospital bag" in the house.  It is entirely possible to go weeks without needing it.  Hospital survival preparation mode "sleeps".  It is possible to restart quickly but not be on all the time. 

Then one morning while reading the Friday the 13th New York Times, A section, page 4.... you run across an article about Belgium.  The chocolate and lace people.  Well guess what?  They have approved euthanasia for Children. 

All I could do was as read the head line for two days.  Then I finally read the article.  Oh dear.  Such an odd and awful possibility.

Two days, I can't think about it.  So as with many of the things I can't deal with in my life, I leave it here for further discussion and thought but I don't believe I could ever agree with this.  But then I never thought I would submit my child to thousands of doses of Chemo and radiation and a bone marrow transplant.  

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