Each Blood Test makes Me Crazy

I want to have this time be simple and ordinary. I want it to be text book. We started maintenance about 6 weeks ago. It has not gone without incident. There are the hives that seem to sneak up on us, there are the weird blood tests that make the doctor's tense. There are the requests to come in for more blood tests. We are not done.

I have been focusing on the White Blood Counts most. That is the count that shows whether or not the likimea is back. They have kept that count very low. They want to make the bone marrow forget that it used to over achieve in white blood cells.

We have been having some trouble with her counts. I have tried not to focus on the problems because I just can not deal with more bad news. I am trying to recover from last year. I am trying to regain some semblance of normal. I so want things to be okay but am less than secure in that reality.

She had a draw Tuesday. Her red blood and platelets numbers were great. Her ANC had dropped to 640 from 3400. So they took her off the chemo for a couple of days and retested her on Friday. Well she has a recovering ANC but her red cells have dropped from 35.6 to 25.9. She is getting close to transfusion territory. They are happy about the White's and worried about the Reds.

I am just plain worried. I am regretting that we have the trip planned this month but then we both really need this trip. I just don't want us to have to worry. Worry is going to be left at SeaTac.

Well we are moving forward, we are going to breakfast and then to Green Lake and try to buy some shoes. Wish us luck.