Blog Archive

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Choices

They don't make our lives easy. I know a family that "choice" is making them crazy and all of those that know them. They are not sure if they are coming or going or staying or moving or what!!!


"Choice" is something we think we need but when faced with choice it can make us very uncomfortable and down right cranky. We are not happy about having to make the final decision. We all hate the "you can not have your cake and eat it too" statement about life. The problem with "choice" is that it does not come with a guide book on how to make the right or the best choice. We have to rely on our friends, families, past experiences and our gut. Not a very scientific why to run lives.


Some times we only have hard choices and choices that have huge consequences and there are no good answers. Those are the worst.

I think that as a society we have too many choices in some arena's and not enough choice in others. Do we need 14 brands of canned tuna and 86 different types of mustard? And yet we have only 2 or three choices as to vehicle fuel and are given those choices if you live in the right place and spend 6 months on a waiting list.

I look at my own life and those of my client's and friends and we are all making big choices. Chemo or no chemo. Move or Stay. Public or Private. Surgery or alternate therapy. House one or house two. Married or stay single. Divorce or stay married. Have a child or terminate. Have a child or relinquish for adoption. Republican or Democrats. Steak or chicken. Vegetarian or Vegan. To buy or lease. Cable or satellite.

Let's face it there are no true "Win Win"situations. Each choice comes with a problem (except maybe the steak/chicken thing since so many meats taste like chicken.) We simply don't live in a world that makes it easy.

People long for the "good old days". Some of my contemporaries talk about the times when women stayed home and took care of children and baked and had coffee with each other. I long to have been a stay at home mom with a house full of kids and meat loaf in the oven every night. ( Maybe M-E wouldn't hate meatloaf). Those that lived that life, a life they did not necessarily choose, are not so sure was such a great thing. They remember it as a time of little choice but one that was great for the husbands and the children. Ask anyone over 65 about the way "things used to be?"

Choice paralyzes some, invigorates other, frustrates most. Choice points out the problems in our lives and consequences of past choices. They all start out bright and shiny but sometimes turn dark and foreboding. Sort of like a pile of fall leaves, the ones on top are fresh as the other's are beginning to decompose. The good thing is when it is all said and done good things come from the entire pile.

Well it is time to go forward and begin the process of finding the right high school from Mary-E. She visits Holy Names tomorrow. She will be spending the day with a student "guide". I saw her in class and she seemed to fit.

I will pray that all of our choices make a nice pile at the end of the day.

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