Colonoscopy's are better than the Dentist (I have pictures but decided not to put them here)

The whole idea is just gross but it was the most painless visit to the doctor that I have ever had. I had avoided the must dreaded 50 year old test because I did not want to drink a gallon of guck. I have a very low guck tolerance. Guck makes me gag. I knew I had to go and do this, it was stupid not to so.

The whole subject came up when M-E and went in for her first blood draw on June 18, 2004. I did all the blood work the morning she had hers. She has always liked it when we both are stuck at the same time. I mentioned to Scott that I should also set up an appointment for the Colonoscopy. Since he is 6 months older than I, I asked who he saw. He said he had not gone yet. I told him we could go together and make a day of it. I asked M-E if she knew what they were and she said yes. They watched a movie in class. I was not upset because I am a liberal educated parent and this is a natural thing. I remember watching movies about how hamburgers were made in school, not colon movies. Oh well.

So each time I saw Scott or talked with him I would ask. He has issues with the test that we all do. It just seems icky. You have to "cleanse the bowel".
They have a long snake like instrument that is black and ugly with a camera on it they put in your body from down "there". Watching Katie Couric's does not make this do-able and easy and something you would pay for in the first place. ( We know she is getting payed millions of dollars a year and has a very personal stake in the whole thing.) It is easier for women. As women we have lots of invasive procedures, things get probed and squished on a regular basis. And many of us have had children. We have had body parts exposed and hanging out all the time. It is just what we have to do.

So I decided that if M-E could do what she has done with little or no complaint, I would take care of a few things. The cyst on my eye needed to come off, the colonoscopy and I am do for squishing. So I did the eye, and made the appointment for the movie.

I went to see the doctor and he seemed nice. I told him I should not, could not and would not drink a gallon of guck and he agreed. He did give me little guck. 1.5 ounces to mix with pop to drink at two intervals. He suggest I stay very close to the bathroom because,even though it was little, it worked.

So I took my three pages of instructions home, set the alarms, took out my Soprano Netflix and cleaned myself out. It was a very harmless process. I was instructed to eat a low fiber breakfast and lunch. No fiber. That means white bread, canned peaches and cheese. I am from the Wonder Bread generation. It was sort of interesting, I had to feel pretty good about myself because I realized that most of the items I wanted were off limits. Evil things like salad and fresh pineapple. At noon, I had to go on a non-red liquid diet. Evidently things like cherry jello and pop like coke, dye your colon. Now how scary is that.

I went yesterday. I had to have an IV. My daughter gets her needle phobia from me. I hate them but I knew that the longer I was on fluids the better. I was thirsty. I was presented with a cute hospital gown. Guess where the gown opened? They had a nice warm blanket for me. I went into the room, was helped on to the stretcher. I would have made M-E proud because I complained about the pillow. I was listening to Willie Nelson and I was out. I woke up in recovery.

No pain, no cramps, a bit of "flatulence is to be expected". As far as I know, the pictures that I have ( I could put here if enough people ask) were from Katie Couric's exam. Great drugs. I expected to be totally wiped out but was just "Happy". I was able to immediately go for coffee which made me very happy. Alison kept a pretty good watch on me. She did not let me buy the doll house. (It is very cute.)

All of you that are 50, better get your behinds ( not my first choice of words) to the doctor and get this procedure done.I have a client that has had colon cancer and it is not something worth messing with at all.

Oh, I was as clear and clean as a whistle. I have to return in 5 years. I also have to make Scott's appointment for him.