The murder of crows and their cacophony woke up everyone. Something was happening and we were not paying attention.
I am sure there are lots of parents that feel like this when they are trying to find out what is wrong with their child. Everyone has a diagnosis story.
Ours was swollen optic nerves, two months of scans and exams. Finally the sneaky little blasts flooded ME's blood stream and we were off to the races. (A race we still run and have had to do again.)
Bloody nose, cough, weird bruises, pain in the legs, lethargy, pain in the stomach. Often there are numerous trips to the doctor, the emergency room.
Then when they figure it out it is full bore press. There is no time to even breath. Life Flights, long admissions, surgeries to place ports and piccs and Hickmans. There are consultations and scans and blood given and taken away. Huge hubbub.. More noise.
The noise never ends. Everything beeps. Even things that were formerly silent. Thermometers, IV pumps, phone's, call buttons, beepers, fire alarms. Everything is trying to get your attention. It is sort of like "signage overload". When faced with too much information, we all just shut down.
I still wake to the pump alarm. It happens mostly when I am in that weird in between place of kind-a-sleeping. My mind had stored all the sounds for use at another time. Sort of like a squirrel and nuts.
This morning the Crows were alarmed. They are not quiet about their alarm. Everyone in the neighborhood heard them. That is what they wanted. They wanted to be heard and to be acknowledged. I am sure they are like us, the Cancer Moms and Dads. We are sitting in a corner of your world and we are screaming as loud as we can and no one truly understands the noise. We have a doctor writing articles about how cancer is very rare and very curable. We have a family that wrote a book wishing their children had cancer and not autism.
Hey, we are all just making lots of noise over here and we need some attention. Something is wrong. Very Very Wrong. We are a small group, a rare group, a very dissonant group. We have learned we have to be because what we are doing, is something lots of people don't understand.
We understand but please know we will keep up the noise for as long as it takes. It is a good song, a necessary harangue.