Monday, June 16, 2014
When they die, are they really gone?
Ironically I had a dream I was able to give Michael a hug last night ... I just remember that I was so happy to see that he was standing... and gave him a big hug. I wish I could have picked him from my dream and could hug him for real ... Kristy Messenger....
Kristy is a mom that lost her child a few weeks ago. He was a lovely young man, diagnosed in August of 2013 and had a form of ALL that would not leave his body. By all accounts he was a great kid. Loved and adored by many and the world will miss him. He was destine to do more than die of Childhood Cancer.
We can rail and scream and harangue all we want but there are so many than die. Despite the "rare and unusual" it is not rare enough. More like "less often than it used to be."
That being said..... when are they gone. I observed the long slow dying process and the grieving process. It is a journey as long or longer sometimes than any of us could realize.
Kristy had a dream. I still have dreams about Dad. Some are odd, some seems so so real. I think they are. Many cultures and faith traditions attache 40 days of transition. Jesus hung around for 40 days. There is a special 49th day ceremony or prayers in the Buddhist tradition. It takes time for the spirit and those left behind to adjust.
I don't dismiss anything anyone believes as wrong. I think Dad hung around for a long time after he died. I have memories of my Grandmother standing at the foot of my bed. Mary-Elizabeth had a conversation with Joseph Boyle during the Navajo Healing Ceremony.
I watch people put away the lives of their lost ones. I see them plan the funeral, the memorial celebrations. The anniversaries, the birthdays, the day they died. It is hard to watch but I think it is a part of the process.
I don't think those we love ever are really gone. They also now live on in Cyberspace. I have not been able to resist the urge to post a note on a friend's page.
Let's face it, if a ghost can turn on or off a light, they can certainly read their Facebook Page. I think even Mark Twain would agree and he was pretty cynical about all of us as spiritual beings.
I don't know if it is a spirit, a flash of a smell, a ghost, a memory, a feeling or just a wonderful thought. I don't think we ever totally lose those that have died. We are so connected in life, how can that connection ever be severed. Not completely.
We live here and now. We know we have limited sight and hearing and perceptions. Anything is possible.
Kristy, keep hugging that child every chance you get.